Master Your Month: the Ultimate Monthly Shutdown Guide

At the end of every month/beginning of the next I do a monthly Shutdown Routine. Don't worry, it's not like a government shutdown ;-), it is putting a nice bow on last month's work and life and moving into the new month with intention and organization. Here's the routine: 

1. Make a list of last month’s highlights

2. List and organize all business expenses from last month

3. Finalize next month’s budget based on the income from last month 

4. Menu plan the next month’s family dinners

5. Finalize monthly goals for next month

First I reflect and make a list (I ♥️ a list–you too??) of all the high points of the previous month. This helps me realize how awesome even January was! Instead of letting my feelings lead me, I let the list lead me. It reminds me of all the goodness I experienced from watching a movie I enjoyed (Licorice Pizza!) to helping to host two baby showers. It will help me remember months from now what was great about January (the least popular month of the year.) 

Then I do some business housekeeping. One of the worst parts about being an entrepreneur is all the money stuff, but I’ve learned that I can be way more on top of itemizing deductions for tax season if I keep track of it every month. So at the end of every month I review credit card statements and make a list (and a pretty little spreadsheet if I do say so myself) of all my business expenses. This makes it all so much easier in the long run. 

Then I finalize next month’s budget. It doesn’t change a ton from month to month, but I do have a fluctuating income due to the nature of my work, so I make sure we have a zero-based budget based on what we earned the previous month. Every dollar gets a home on the spreadsheet for the next month. I do keep budgeting simpler than some folks because I put most expenses on a credit card (that I fully pay off every month!) so we get the passive income of the credit card points that accrue. I never pay for rental cars (and often don’t pay for hotels either) because of these credit card points. I recommend the Chase Sapphire credit card. It has the best perks IMO and is currently offering up to 60,000 bonus points for new customers. That translates to $750 free money when you use it toward travel when redeemed through Chase Ultimate Rewards. Here is my referral link.

And yes, I menu plan all our dinners (and I’m beginning to do lunches too!) before the month even begins. I don’t know if you hate menu planning like I do, but it feels like such a brain power suck when I try to figure it out on a weekly basis. Instead I figure out the main course for all the meals in one fell swoop and then flesh out the details when I'm at the grocery store the week of (if broccoli is in season and I think it pairs well with our meat, then broccoli it is.) 

And lastly, I don’t do quarterly goals or annual goals, I do monthly goals based on my big values and priorities for the year. This also gives me the flexibility I need to pivot! The reason monthly goals work well for me is because a month is such a short amount of time, I have to connect my ambitions with my actual schedule. For example, this month I want to read more. So instead of just having an annual goal of reading 50 books, I went in to my calendar yesterday and literally scheduled reading time from 8-9:30pm 3 nights next week. This is where the rubber meets the road in connecting aspirations to reality. 

If you want more tips like these to optimize your work/family/life, I want to invite you to consider joining the Hustle & Grace group coaching program. Doors open soon.

Snag your spot on the waitlist to be the first to hear about early bird pricing and get all the details right here. 

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3 Lessons from Jumping Into Jeremy Cowart's Creative Process

If you got to step inside the creative process of one of the most talented creatives alive today would you?

If even for a minute?

• Play a round with John Mayer?

• Do a cold read with Kate Winslet?

• Hop in front of Jeremy Cowart’s lens?

That’s what I did this week.

Jeremy Cowart, prolific artist and photographer who has photographed everyone from Gwyneth Paltrow to Spike Lee, opened up his studio to normies like me for 90-second sessions.

After admiring his work for over a decade and interviewing him on the Hustle & Grace podcast, I knew if I had the chance to be photographed by him I would do it.

So in a whirlwind of an afternoon I swooped into his studio, stepped in front of his camera, and was done within minutes. 

Takeaways:

1. There are very few moments in life where it pays off to focus on your insecurities. I had one minute to relax and be a good subject for Jeremy. Thinking too much about myself wasn’t helpful.
    

2. Do things out of your comfort zone from time to time. I did this shoot with Jeremy to kick off a creative business retreat. Doing something radically different from my typical Friday afternoon was a great way to shake my brain awake and look at things from a fresh perspective.
    

3. Art, business, and new experiences are all better with friends. This photo shoot and 48-hour adventure were enriched because I did them along with my oldest friend Bonnie. Life is richer in community. Period.

Want creative and career encouragement like this in your inbox once or twice a month? Sign up for my email newsletter here and I’ll send you my mini ebook (featuring Jeremy, among others!) 12 Little Hacks for the Mindful Creative.

Introducing the Career Motivation Framework

My passion for studying careers really started when I was fresh out of college and was working in retail (along with some other side hustles) and I was just so bored.

I remember writing lists on the back of receipt tape just to pass the time. I knew that I couldn’t do that forever. I dreamed about work that was flexible, autonomous, creative, involved collaboration…I knew what I valued, I just didn’t know what was possible.

Everyone is motivated to go to work for different reasons. When a job no longer fits your primary motivation, people either “quiet quit,” mentally checking out or they quit altogether. 

We all make choices in our careers because we are motivated by one of these five categories. 

Knowing which motivates you most can help you make strategic decisions in your work moving forward and ultimately lead to a more satisfying career path.

Flexibility

Whether it’s just for a season or it’s forever, you know you want a job that can work around your life. You would rather make your own schedule than have an impressive title or more money. Work is important but you have other priorities and want a job that is malleable. 

Wealth

Financial security, income, and benefits matter most to you. You want a job that makes you feel secure and maybe even change the trajectory of the next generation in your family. You can pay your mortgage, save, and you don’t have to worry about finances. 

Enjoyment

What matters most to you is that you spend time doing the work you enjoy. Whether it’s creative, data-centric, or people-focused, you love it. Titles, money, and flexibility might be nice added perks but at the end of the day your main thing is that you enjoy what you do.

Meaning

You are most passionate about the difference you are making in the world. You may be taking risks as a result, earning less, or overextending yourself, but you feel great alignment in your work and the difference it is making in the world. This is a cause you believe in. It may even be the thing you care about most in the world. 

Prestige

Do you feel a burst of pride when you get to share with someone what you do or where you work? Work may include long hours or lower pay than you want but your role is significant and your organization is special. 

Discover your career motivation by taking the quiz here. Along with your results you will get personalized tips based on your specific motivation so you can lean into what motivates you most and continue on a path toward creating a career and life you love. 

2022 Mid-Year Goals Check-In

July. The January of the second half of the year. 

No? Not how you think of it?

Those fresh calendar dates really are arbitrary. And yet, if this approach works for you, it can be helpful to use them to pause, look back, and assess if you are pleased with the choices you’ve made and the things that have happened in your life. 

July works as a perfect mid-way check-in point to look back on the first half of the year, review goals, plan, and strategize for the second half of the year. In January I usually choose a word for the year and I make it a habit of thinking through what I want the following year to look like. But in the case of the “word for the year” well, I rarely give it a lot of thought beyond the first month. It’s just kind of a fun new year ritual. However, a mid-way check-in can be helpful in not letting our big dreams and ambitions from January fizzle as time passes.

I thought today I’d walk through my own mid-way check-in and include you in the process. Let’s see how it’s gone down.

First: Review

In looking back at my own goals I plotted out for 2022 and what the first half of the year held, I notice a marked difference between the first quarter and the second quarter of the year. 

Maybe it’s because my baby turned one, maybe it’s because we didn’t have a new COVID variant, maybe it’s because we were emerging from winter, whatever the case, I had a whole lot of fun in Q2. I’d argue that I had more fun happening in my life between April and June of this year than I’ve had since 2019. Maybe not a high bar but one I crossed nevertheless. 

I also noticed that the pace of my life as well as the productivity really picked up! I began to think bigger picture and longer term as I made my first hire for HSL Digital. Rachel Day Hughes, my associate, is helping me take on more clients as well as helping me give Hustle & Grace the attention it deserves. 

I also think that Q2 felt more energetic because I got the childcare help I desperately needed back in January. I really saw the payoff of that rhythm by March and especially in April and beyond.

If you are wondering if you should hire the help you need, this is the sign you’ve been looking for.

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How It’s Going

I made a 22 for 2022 list of mostly low bar stuff that I really did want to do in 2022. I sort of viewed it more as a “fun” list than a “goals list.” (Need for fun strikes again.) So far I have 11 checked off and I’m on pace to do ok with the rest if I prioritize them. Context: when I made this list I was feeling extremely depleted. That’s why several items in this list are self-care oriented or one-and-done, aka attainable. My margin was nonexistent. But I also knew I’d be more likely to actually do things like “schedule coffee with a friend” if I put it on a list. Thus here is my 22 for 2022: 

1. Monthly date night (missed January but we’ve kind of made up for it! I counted 7 completed on my calendar by end of June.) 

2. Read the New Testament 

3. Have a coffee date with a friend ✔️

4. Get a massage

5. Get a manicure

6. Get a pedicure ✔️

7. Record a podcast season (or mini season) (It has begun! I’ve recorded a few episodes and it is launching August 16!!)

8. Increase annual revenue by 20% (On track!)

9. Finish draft of manuscript (Haven’t touched it yet this year)

10. See a Broadway show ✔️

11. Get the girls vaccinated (One shot down, one to go!)

12. Go to NYC ✔️

13. Get a nanny ✔️

14. Join a gym ✔️

15. Read a parenting book (started Hunt, Gather, Parent but haven’t finished) 

16. Read a personal development book ✔️ (The 12 Week Year was great.) 

17. Speak at a conference ✔️(Spoke at Momentum in June and will be at the Digital Summit in DC in August!) 

18. Get an article published in a high profile publication (Have only done one reach out so far. No dice, but also, not enough effort made yet.) 

19. Celebrate R’s 1st birthday ✔️

20. Go on a 10th anniversary trip (this is on the radar for October, but nothing is booked)

21. Take a H1 (first half of the year) social media break + a H2 (second half of the year) social media break (didn’t exactly remember to schedule this for the first half of the year but am enjoying a break from social this month! Testing out the 80/20 rule.) 

22. Read a business book ✔️ (The Long Game by Dorie Clark and Principles by Ray Dalio are both excellent.)

23. Take 6 weeks off work (So far I’ve taken 2.5 weeks off so I need to press the gas on this the second half of the year. I think I can do it.) 

Oops I see now that it’s 23 for 2022 instead of 22. OH WELL! 

As you can see these are things I wanted to prioritize but don’t all necessarily qualify as serious “goals.” I wanted to make a lot of these attainable and easy-ish while also having some good payoff. Everything on the list aligns with my values. There are also some stretch goals in here: relaunch the podcast, finish the book draft, have my highest grossing revenue year yet, etc. That’s plenty right there.

Mid-Year Check-In Assessment

So far, 2022 has been heading in a great direction. More opportunities have come my way than I anticipated. I’m building out the systems, processes, and team needed to grow. I’m more energized and validated in my work than ever before and I’m really beginning to see that anything is possible. On the home front, being a mom is relentless. I still don’t feel like I’ve got “me” time outside of work (which lol work is not ‘me’ time! That’s like saying a shower or brushing your teeth is ‘me’ time!) I’m reminded that the only way to have fun or margin or anything means not only do you have to be proactive, you have to plan. Planning is an essential part of being a parent and having any sort of life outside of parenting. 

I am looking forward to the second half of the year. My parents are moving down the road from us. I love my clients. The new season of the podcast is launching in August. We will be celebrating our 10th anniversary. And many other things that I don’t even know are coming down the pike (ie in January I didn’t know that work would take me to Naples, Orlando, or Nashville in the first half of the year. I also didn’t know it would take me to see Freestyle Love Supreme or John Williams!). I’m feeling more optimistic and energetic than I have in quite some time. Grateful, grateful, grateful for this life. 

Now about those big goals from the 22(3) for 2022 list that are looming…if I really am going to get this book published I have to carve out time to work on the manuscript. If I want a byline in a national publication, I’m going to have to pitch. If I’m going to read the entire New Testament, well, I need to make it a part of my daily routine.

What gets scheduled gets done. What I know for sure is that what doesn’t get scheduled most certainly does not get done.

How bout you? Are you heading down the track you were hoping to at the beginning of the year? Are you starting to feel more energetic about life as the pandemic seemingly becomes less of a big part of our everyday lives? Are you also a really tired mom??

I’d love to hear how it’s all shaking out for you and any tips you have to make sure the second half of the year lines up with your values and goals. Cheering you on always!

Being a Working Mom, Maternal Instincts and Mom Guilt

Let’s be honest. I was always a feeler. 

But motherhood has taken it up a few notches. What I care about more than anything is tiny and vulnerable and walking around outside of my body. I love these little people. I mean LOVE. 

I am a youngest child, so “protective” and “maternal” and “scared” were not really in my vocabulary until becoming a parent. 

I was told it would all change and change it did. I remember one of the first times I had a weird maternal anxiety moment. I was pregnant and walking on a subway platform. I had this vision of a stranger coming up and punching me in the stomach. My mom said that anxiety was just maternal instincts kicking in. Protect baby at all costs. See the danger before it surprises you. 

P r o t e c t . 

Even now when taking my girls out in the stroller I have visions of a dog getting loose and trying to attack them. I have visions of medium-sized dogs flying through the air as I fearlessly kick them like a field goal. I used to be scared of dogs. 

Maternal instincts. They come. 

The mama bear thing is REAL.

And so is mom guilt. 

Wow. Whyyyyy can’t I just enjoy the fact that I work and I also get to spend lots of time with my kids? Whichever role I’m in at any given time I feel like I should be giving more time to the other. 

I am generally a sensible person. A feeler, but sensible. So why can’t I grab this mom guilt by the horns and make sense of it? 

Can I blame Covid for this? Or Obama? Kim Kardashian? 

I just want to be a happy working mom living the dream of doing work I love, making good money, and spending lots of time with my kids.

So why can’t I settle down and just appreciate all of it without worry or guilt? 

Maybe I'll get a grip after I wean.

Or maybe I really can blame this on Covid.

Planning Hack: Just Say "No" to Floating To Do Lists

May 2020: photographic proof of my almost sporty renaissance

This month marks two years since society was forced into a widespread lockdown. I usually love to look back on photos of my daughter “on this day” from past years, but I feel surprisingly troubled looking at the innocence on all of our faces from photos during this time two years ago.

Some of that season sort of felt novel. Do you remember that? All of a sudden we were thrust into a life where our social circle became immediate family. Schedules became simple. Every activity was at home.

No restaurants. No outings.

The outdoors were our sanctuary.

And for those of us who could, working from home became the norm.

We baked bread. We attended virtual concerts. I got hyped about MasterClass (still recommend Bob Iger and Chris Voss' classes!) and thought I might start playing softball more. (🤣) It was all very scary but it was also kind of quaint and refreshing. Weird.

I’m glad I didn’t know two years ago what all we would be in for and just how long COVID would be a big part of our lives. One big thing that I see when I look back on these last two years is how much we adapt when we’re forced to. We are a resilient people.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then needing to work from home with one—and then two—little kids sure pushed me to optimize my productivity and time management skills.

Here’s one planning hack that made a huge difference for me in business and in life.

Just say “no” to floating to do lists.

Sometimes you need to jot down ideas, but a "To Do" List that has no deadlines or schedule, is just a list of thoughts. Resist the urge to just make a list without following through and figuring out when you need to finish something and where on your calendar you’re actually going to put it.

Caveat: deadlines can change. Life happens. Sometimes more important or urgent things come up and you have to shift things around. But at least begin with a specific deadline. It's better to aim at something and then make adjustments if needed.

Deadlines serve as a form of accountability. Use them to your advantage to make sure a list of things you want or need to do "at some point" actually get done.

4 Strategies Every Professional Should Steal from Content Marketers to Establish Expertise and Earn More

You have a personal brand. You have a platform. You have the opportunity to lead others. You have the opportunity to shape your own career opportunities by strategically creating content. Wait, what? That last one? That’s not just for marketers?

Definitely not.

Whether you’re a marketer or not, you can use strategies that content marketers use on the daily to set yourself apart from competition, establish yourself as an authority in your field, and subtly remind your network that not only is this what you do for a living, it’s a passion, and anyone would be lucky to get work with you. And what are the benefits of being seen as an expert in your field?

You can:

• be more selective with clients and projects

• charge more

• increase your potential to impact people in new ways (think speaking, writing, being asked to contribute to special projects and opportunities)

A huge way you can set yourself apart as an expert in your field is to implement content marketing strategies. Here are four strategies you should be stealing from content marketers right now.

Strategies Every Professional Should Steal from Content Marketers

1. Riff on something that is happening in the news cycle. Jump into the conversations people are already having and offer insight. Imagine you are in advertising and it’s the day after the Super Bowl. What do you do? You should share your take on the best and worst Super Bowl ads. This is a way to flex your expertise, contribute to the conversation, and provide something interesting and informative to others that subtly reminds them that you are an expert on this topic. 

2. Create a piece of content that is clearly educational. This may be an op-ed you contribute to a publication, a three-photo carousel of tips on Instagram, a blog post, a quick how-to video, or even an infographic you put together using a tool like Canva. Epidemiologist Jessica Malaty Rivera is nailing this on Instagram right now. Strengthen your brand as a subject matter expert by creating content that serves your audience and helps them better understand something that you already have expertise in. Try to make it actionable and easy to digest. 

3. Be a content curator. Share content that you found helpful and informative. You can curate content for your specific audience and pull from other authorities. Author Daniel Pink does this really well on Twitter. He shares a link to an informative article and then includes a few sentences synthesizing the most important takeaways. 

4. Be a connector. Introduce your network to other authoritative voices that may be helpful to them. You could do this through producing an interview-style podcast or hosting Q&A sessions in a private group on Facebook or an Instagram Live. (I’ve gotten to do this a lot myself as a guest on other podcasts and on my own podcast Hustle & Grace!) There are lots of ways you can connect your audience to voices they may have not previously known. All the while, you are continuing to build your platform, serve your audience, and connect with influential people.

Content marketers have sworn by these strategies for years. Publishing content, speaking into conversations of the moment, and being a community builder are all ways that every professional can engage with their networks, serve them, and grow their careers. So go ahead. Steal these content marketing strategies. I’ll be cheering you on as you do. 

Are you ready to up your personal brand and start creating content? Snag the 31-day personal brand challenge to get 31 different ideas to improve your personal brand one day at a time in a handy calendar format.

The Measurement Method I Learned from Cooking That Helps Me Have an Awesome Weekend and Live By My Values

Who taught you to cook? 

I learned from Pinterest.

I somehow made it to my late twenties not knowing how to produce any food other than stovetop mac and cheese, brownies, and, ok, I had one baked chicken recipe in my back pocket (spoiler: not a very good one). If you asked me to make you a meal it would be food out of boxes that came with three-step directions. 

Enter: Pinterest

All of a sudden I could just search for my favorite foods and create this whole list of recipes that came rife with photos of said dishes. And I began to learn that it wasn’t actually all that complicated. I just needed to know what the ingredients on the list were, how to get them, and then how to do whatever it was the instructions said to do in the recipe. And hey, if I didn’t know what it meant to “coarsely chop” or “finely mince” something I could take a quick jaunt over to YouTube and watch a how-to video that would teach me that very thing!

I started by only trying recipes that had “easy” in the title. Soon I learned the difference between roasting, sautéing, boiling, and broiling. The more I cooked, the more fun it was, the more confident I became, and the more creative I got with dishes. 

The big key for my confidence in the early days was measurement. I needed to know exactly how much oil or garlic or cumin to use. I needed tablespoons and measuring cups. I needed data and reassurance. 

Measuring gives me accurate information. It tells me if I’m on track or not. And it’s useful beyond just cooking. In fact, measurements make my world go round. 

I recently fleshed out the six elements of a rejuvenating, well-spent weekend for myself. I have it in my notes app on my phone and I check off the boxes on my list every weekend to see how I’m doing. If I make it to Sunday feeling depleted, there’s no way I’ve checked off all six of these boxes: 

My weekend checklist:

• Time with the whole family

• Time worshipping

• Time to myself

• Time one-on-one with Eloise

• Time for my projects 

• Time with JC 

This applies to “normal” weekends where it’s just the three of us at home. I need to connect with my people, connect with God, and connect with myself. That’s pretty much what it comes down to. 

Tracking this data is profoundly helpful. Maybe there will be a time where I graduate past it, just like now I totally eyeball the garlic (and reader, trust me you can never have too much) but for now the measurement and data help me stay on target. By Sunday night I’m rested, rejuvenated, my family cup is full, and I feel at peace knowing I spent the weekend living by my values. This helps me feel ready to dive into the week ahead, whatever it holds.

What measurements do you have in your life that help you feel confident you’re moving in the right direction? 

Do you want to be more intentional with technology this year? Download the free Technology Manifesto Worksheet to help you reflect on the relationship you want to have with technology, get clear on your values, and commit to a better, healthier relationship with technology this year.

How to Maximize Your Resources and Stop Holding Yourself Back: a Guest Post by Damon Brown

How do we make an impact within our post-pandemic world? Damon Brown answers the question in his new book Build From Now: How to Know Your Power, See Your Abundance & Nourish the World (January 28, Bring Your Worth Publishing). 

The follow-up to his best-selling book series The Ultimate Bite-Sized Entrepreneur and Bring Your Worth, serial entrepreneur and business coach Damon Brown breaks down the four resources we all need to succeed: Focus, Agility, Time, and Energy. (You can learn your biggest strength right now for free at BuildFromNowQuiz.com.) 

The challenge, he argues, is two fold: we don’t recognize our biggest resource and the environment itself can overpower us because we don’t see our own power. 

Below is a brief excerpt.

In my research, I’ve found the very ways to maximize your biggest resources also match how you can best compensate for your lowest resources. For instance, if you have an abundance of Time, then you can maximize it by setting clear, definitive boundaries and strong, strategic goal setting. How do you handle things when Time is scarce? Set clear, definitive boundaries and do strong, strategic goal setting. As Wharton professor Adam Grant says, it’s not about time management, but attention management, and we can use that whether we have a bunch of time or not much time to spare. They present different sides of the same coin.

Some books recommend taking the knowledge specific to you and reading that chapter. This isn’t one of those books. In fact, that would be a mistake. Your resources aren’t monolithic. 

We all have the ability to Focus, to be Agile, to maximize Time, and to use Energy. We do until the day we die. So each one of these resources are immediately relevant to you. They all are. Stories, examples, analogies, and contrasts between the different resources are woven throughout. 

My recommendation? Take the quiz online at www.buildfromnowquiz.com,  read the book, then take the quiz again. You’ll be able to get a feel for different resources, which is important because your primary resource today is based on personal and professional circumstances that will likely change tomorrow. Remember, your resources are not fixed. If you take the quiz post-reading, you could be pleasantly surprised, too. 

The veil between you and your subconscious self thins when you have an intense, life-relevant experience. A messy divorce, a painful funeral, or a child’s birth don’t automatically cause reinvention; two people may have the same experience, but one may seem unchanged, while the other utterly transformed. 

Usually, though, the veil is too thick for us to be objective. Through reading this, I want us to slow down enough to see the patterns, feel the pain, and respect our past and present enough to acknowledge our best strengths and limitations. 

Your dominant resource represents what classic business theorist Chris Argyris calls your “Ladder of Inference.” 

We go through five steps when we get new information: 

• we select the data relevant to us;

• we paraphrase the data in language we understand;

• we label the data to describe what we believe is happening;

• we explain or evaluable what’s happening;

• and we decide what to do.

Then we do it.

This would be less important if we looked at every experience in a fresh light. But we don’t. We begin to see what we believe and experience things in ways that confirm the world to be. 

This phenomenon plays into our FATEs. It is why we will keep doing all-nighters (Energy as our primary resource) even though we’re way past a point in our life when it makes sense; It may be more efficient and comfortable stretching the deadline (Time as our primary resource), but we’re locked in the habit. 

There are a few things at work here.

First, we have “confirmation bias,” which means we’re more likely to accept data that fits our worldview and, frankly, our ego. We like feeling right more than actually being right. It gives us security. 

Second, the more you think about something, the more likely you’ll see it. For instance, if you worry about your ability to maximize your Time, then you’re more likely to be paralyzed when you have to decide what to do with it – and then end up wasting your Time, confirming your own theory. Theorists call it the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. 

Third, Argyris’ Ladder of Inference theory is the equivalent of an online “filter bubble,” as your options begin to feel narrower and narrower because the framework is built to give you more of the same. Your mind works like a modern Internet browser, website, or social media platform: you liked this message from McDonalds? Well, let’s show you an ad from Burger King, Wendy’s, and Jack In The Box. You bought this crib? Well, let’s suggest you buy baby bottles, rompers, and a car seat. 

And you like being Agile? Makes you feel at your best? Feeds your ego, too? Well, we’ll keep putting you in situations where you have to adjust at the last minute. Let’s keep you feeling good.

The Ladder of Inference calls it a “reflexive loop” and it can have you leaning on a particular resource out of habit.

As you look into your resources, do not believe one particular strength is the answer. Focus, Agility, Time, and Energy are all necessary for you to make any sort of impact on the world. 

Your resource is the filter to your world. As the saying goes, if you have a hammer, then everything is a nail. But the most dangerous thing is not knowing you’re using a hammer at all.

A Thanksgiving Project: Why and How to Start Your Own Gratitude Practice

Does “giving thanks” feel more difficult this year than in past years? We’ve experienced a tremendous amount of collective loss, including derailed Thanksgiving plans. However, the truth is that choosing to focus on gratitude has incredible benefits, and is well worth the intentional effort.

Benefits of Gratitude

In life and in work, gratitude combats feelings of stress, disillusionment, and dissatisfaction. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, it can make you feel more optimistic. It can help you sleep better. And other research even shows that it can improve your self-esteem. 

A new study came out recently in Psychotherapy Research that found that compared with participants who wrote about negative experiences or received counseling alone, those who also wrote gratitude letters in addition to counseling reported significantly better mental health four weeks and twelve weeks after their writing exercise ended. 

According to the study, “this suggests that gratitude writing can be beneficial not just for healthy, well-adjusted individuals but also for those who struggle with mental health concerns. In fact, it seems practicing gratitude on top of receiving psychological counseling carries greater benefits than just counseling alone. Even when that gratitude practice is brief.” 

The research shows adding some sort of gratitude practice into your routine, into your habits has nothing but benefits for you. 

I’ve even seen this in my own life as I learned that gratitude has helped me personally combat feelings of “missing out” or just living in the future. Gratitude helps me focus on what I am experiencing right here and right now that is worth being thankful for. 

The Impact of Gratitude at Work

Gratitude not only has benefits for your own psychological well being, but gratitude also has a huge impact on the workplace. 

• A study by Glass Door revealed that 80 percent of employees would be willing to work harder for a boss that expresses gratitude and appreciation. 

• 70 percent of employees say they would feel better about themselves and their efforts if their boss thanked them more regularly. It’s so simple to do. Just acknowledge that efforts are being seen. 

• 53 percent of employees would stay longer at their company if they felt more appreciation from their boss. Businesses can increase retention by encouraging leadership to practice intentional appreciation. 

• 4 out 5 employees report that they are motivated to work harder when their boss shows appreciation for their work. 

It’s important not only to be mindful of the things that you’re grateful for in your own life, but also to express that gratitude to others, whether it’s your family, neighbors, a roommate, or a co-worker. It’s so helpful to express to people that you’re grateful for what they've done and that you see them. 

Put It Into Practice 

There’s no better time than now to be intentional about practicing gratitude, so here are a few ways to launch your gratitude practice. 

1. Get a journal that is meant solely for gratitude. This can be a daily list of things you feel grateful for or it can even be specific to your day. What was great about your day? What were the highlights? I keep a highlights journal to reflect on my day and outline things that I enjoyed about the day. Maybe it was a meal, a conversation, something I read, or a win at work. I keep it simple, no more than two or three lines. It’s a great practice to do this before bed each evening. Just jot down maybe three things that you’re thankful for so that even as you go to sleep, you’ll be thinking about the things that are positive. You’ll literally be counting your blessings. 

2. Start the day with a prayer of thanksgiving. For me, prayer is a great way to start the day just thinking on things above, thinking on things that I’m grateful for. It’s a great way to finish the day. So including prayer in your day whether it’s, in the beginning of your day, before meals, or at the end of the day, is a great habit to implement to get your mind off of yourself. 

3. Throughout the day look for things to be grateful for. Look for those sights, smells, and sounds that you can include in your gratitude journal at the end of that day. Even just having that attitude of being on the lookout for things to be grateful for will really transform your entire day because you’re looking for the positive, the blessings, the things to be grateful for. 

4. Write a note to someone who’s helped you in your life. This is certainly one of my goals for 2021. I want to regularly get back to snail mail and write notes to people. Not only on their birthday, not only on a holiday, but just to let them know that I’m grateful for them, for the impact they’ve had on my life. It can also just be a text message, a Facebook message, or an Instagram DM. Just take a moment to tell someone, “Hey, I appreciate you. You’ve made a difference in my life.” Maybe it is someone that you work with or maybe it’s someone who’s been a mentor to you in the past, or maybe it’s a family member. You’ll never regret having reached out to someone and said “I appreciate your kindness. I appreciate who you’ve been in my life. I appreciate how you’ve inspired me.” 

5. Every couple of months, strategically choose a close friend or a family member in your life to express gratitude to. Try to do this on an unsuspecting month, not necessarily their birthday month. Devise something special you can do for them to show appreciation. 

The research shows it only takes eight weeks of a gratitude practice for people to start showing changed brain patterns that lead to greater empathy and happiness. There’s really no reason not to be intentional about increasing gratitude in your life. Whether it’s through journaling, prayer, or stopping by your co-worker’s office to say thanks. 

Satisfaction and fulfillment are not in the things that we’re looking forward to. They’re not in the things of tomorrow. They’re not in the nostalgia of the past. Satisfaction and fulfillment are in today. They’re in being grateful for where you are today, being grateful for the breath in your lungs today, the people in your life today, the health that you have today. 

And the best way to renew your mind is to stop, look around, and express that gratitude for what is in your life right now. It’s incredibly powerful to express thanks for what’s here right now. Let’s not miss it.

If you liked this blog post, subscribe to get articles like this delivered straight to your inbox. To say thanks I’ll send you an infographic on how to fight fear in the creative process!

A Guide to Finishing Strong in 2020

It may be hard to believe, but we’ve still got about 30% of the year ahead of us.

Longest year ever? Maybe. But as we look down the barrel of these last few months, we can see things with clear eyes. It will be challenging. We still don’t have a vaccine. We aren’t gathering in large groups yet. Most offices are still closed. Kids are doing remote learning. The cold months will be hard. So given that we have clarity around our present reality, what will we do with this opportunity?

I really do believe it’s an opportunity.

I remember in January having some big plans and goals for the year. A lot of them had to be adjusted or abandoned altogether when the reality of what this year would look like set in.

But now we know what we’re dealing with. I wrote an article in April about “life after the pandemic” as if it would emerge in early summer. How quaint. Now I, along with the entire population, recognize the gravity of the pandemic and how this is a long haul catastrophe, not a 90-day event.

So in this new reality we're living in, what do you want to look back on and have accomplished in 2020?

We can’t compare pandemic and non-pandemic times. What does it mean to finish strong in the present reality of 2020? There are no surprises at this point (we don’t think!) so given the reality of the situation, how do you want to grow? What can you accomplish? By answering the questions below you can get clarity around what you want to prioritize so that in the future you can look back on these last months of 2020 and say “I lived it well.”

Ask Yourself These Questions to Finish Strong in 2020

• What can I focus on and achieve in the strangest year in decades?

• How can I make good habits easy and bad habits harder? 

• What is worth my time during this last 30% of the year and what is not? What is worth the investment?

• Looking back on the last eight months, what have I learned about the 80/20 rule in my life and work? Is there anything I can let go of that is taking up more space than it deserves? How can I simplify? 

• What should I put greater attention and focus on? What will pay off? 

• What patterns do I see emerging? 

• What do I need to take into consideration as I make plans for these last months of the year? 

• What do I want more of?

• What do I want less of?

• How can I extend grace to others and to myself?

• What kind of tone would I like to set in my home and with those who I influence most?

There's 16 weeks left in the year. I read today a man said “any day spent above the ground is a day to be thankful for.” That’s a humbling perspective.

Our time here really is valuable. And there is value in the suffering we are experiencing. So I ask, what will you do with this gift of time?

Big News: The Personal Brand Course is HERE!

2020: Dumpster Fire of Predictability

Does that resonate?

I certainly didn’t know what 2020 had in store, but because I've been slow and steady on the personal branding train for a decade, I didn't skip a beat when one of my clients cut my assignments back by 60% at the beginning of the pandemic.

Wild, right?

The only way that I have been able to attract new clients and opportunities during these out of control times is personal branding.

The good news is you don't have to put in ten years of work to get results like mine. 

Being intentional with your personal brand leads to confidence and a better night’s sleep, because when it comes to personal brand, you can influence it.

You deserve to be in the drivers seat of your career. And I’m gonna show you how to get there.

I’m THRILLED to share that I've taken everything I've seen and learned from building a personal brand over the past ten years and turned it into a four-module, fluff-free online training program for talented professionals like you. It’s called, wait for it…The Personal Brand Course.

Since implementing this personal brand strategy I have increased my annual income by 483%. I’ve been featured in USA Today, The Washington Post, HuffPost, and more. 

Getting clear on your personal brand and learning how to authentically share it with the world means you can get control over your career, finances, and life, all while doing the work that you were born to do.

Are you ready to use personal branding to…

• Work on your own terms?

• Recession-proof your career?

• Take ownership of how others experience you in public (online and IRL)?

• Get into the rooms, on the stages, and into the positions you want to be in?

• Be the first person people think of when they need someone with your specialty?

• Show people how you can be the solution to their problem?

The Personal Brand Course lays out a step-by-step framework to build a powerful personal brand so you can get new clients, new job opportunities, and feel a much-deserved sense of control.

The course includes eight video lessons, the course workbook, as well as these bonuses:

+The Bonus Personal Brand Course Resources and Recommendations One-Sheet that includes my favorite thought leaders, podcasts, books, and tools to help you grow your personal brand. These are the tools and resources I use and swear by in building my own personal brand.

+EXCLUSIVE access to the HSL Courses Facebook Group (be a part of the supportive and action-oriented community of HSL course students and alumni.)

+The Quarterly Goal-setting Workbook that demystifies the goal-setting process so you know exactly what you need to do to achieve your goals. This tool helps you figure out steps to take to get where you want to be one year from now, what you need to stop, start, and continue this year, lessons to learn from last year so you can have your best year yet, and what to do in the next five minutes to help you reach your goals.

Personal brand isn’t just self-promotion and influencer antics. It’s a strategic tool you can use to gain control of your career, finances, and life. Let’s go.

21 Things I’ve Discovered + Enjoyed + Recommend Since the Pandemic Started

Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, I will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

It’s been about 8̶4̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶r̶s̶ 21 weeks since the pandemic changed everything about life as we know it.

And while tons of things have gotten canceled or closed, I have noticed that I’ve discovered some new things that I’ve come to really enjoy over these past five months.

Arts, entertainment, nonfiction, audio, bingeable shows, technology, productivity, finances, it’s a whole smattering of stuff. But all of it has made my days a little bit brighter. And in these out of control times, I don’t know about you, but that’s exactly what I’ve needed.

21 Things I’ve Discovered + Enjoyed + Recommend Since the Pandemic Started

1. Masterclass. This is a collection of 80+ video lessons from world class experts. Think: Thomas Keller on cooking. Christina Aguilera on riffs. David Sedaris on humor writing. I love professional development, books, and conferences, and Masterclass gives you a front row seat to learn about a variety of crafts from those that do them best. (I’ve loved Bob Iger, Chris Voss, Bobbi Brown, and Steve Martin’s classes so far!) 

2. Grocery pickup. Theoretically I knew this was a thing for a while but #pandemiclife pushed me to finally make this the way I grocery shop. In a past life grocery shopping was a way to get out of the house and do an activity with Eloise, but now that we’re not using it to kill time, might as well get it done easy peasy with pickup. I don’t hate it. (If you haven’t tried Walmart Grocery Pickup, use this link and get $10 off your first order.)

3. Working at home full-time with my husband also working at home full-time (without additional childcare). This took a little adjusting and finagling but we’ve finally gotten into a routine where we split hangout time with our toddler and split work time. It’s amazing how much work you can pack into 5 or 6 hours instead of 8 if that’s what you HAVE to do. (And I’ve freed myself from the traditional workweek hours because I can’t tell you how much I can get done on a Saturday morning when my inbox is dead!)

4. Building a Storybrand (book + podcast). Guys, this book on branding and connecting with your customer as the hero of the story has helped me more in my business this year than any other. I can’t recommend both the book and the podcast enough. Clarify your message! 

5. Becoming. I loved listening to Michelle Obama’s audiobook to hear her incredible story of little girl growing up on the south side of Chicago to First Lady and beyond. What a ride. It’s so well told and inspiring. 

6. Never Have I Ever. Created by Mindy Kaling, this Netflix show has a hilarious, smart script. It’s perfect high school pandemic escapism.

7. Hamilton on Disney+. I saw this cast of Hamilton at the Rodgers from the top row of the balcony, so seeing this up close multi-camera version was so satisfying. Highly recommend!! (Cap it off with John Adams on HBO if you never saw the miniseries! [I hadn’t and it’s GREAT. LAURA LINNEY IS QUEEN.]

8. Refinancing my mortgage. This goes in the adulting category, but if the pandemic gave us anything it’s at least low interest rates. We’re saving hundreds of dollars per month on our mortgage after refinancing. That makes a substantial difference for our monthly budget. 

9. Everybody switching to video meetings and working remotely. I wrote a whole essay about this one for HuffPost so I don’t know that you need me to expound upon this further, but I’m still celebrating the inclusivity that has occurred as a result of social distancing. It’s also better for the environment to WFH, so there’s that. 

10. Interviewing all star podcast guests. I have to be honest, I don’t know that I could have snagged time with Dan Pink and Jen Hatmaker if they hadn’t been homebound in the spring. What an incredible opportunity to talk one-on-one with those two and other incredible writers and thinkers. 

11. WW app. (Mom alert) I started WW in March NOT KNOWING I would want to stress eat for all of April. Luckily, this actually gave me a little corner of the universe to control amidst the chaos and that was really, really nice. I also love the community piece of the app and the never ending recipe ideas. (This link gives you one month free if you want to try it.) 

12. The Last Dance. We all know I’m not sporty but I’m ENRAPTURED by Michael Jordan’s obsession with excellence and how the Chicago Bulls worked together as a championship NBA team in the 90s. Did you know it takes more than just talent to be the best?? This series is so fascinating and inspiring. And it’s on Netflix now! 

13. Saving money. I’m still mourning the loss of our Disney trip that was killed, but it was astounding to see that we spent about 30% less per month during lockdown. It made me realize that if we get to a point in the future where we really need to tighten our belts and trim spending dramatically, we certainly can. That’s freeing.

14. Fairfax County Parks. I’m really grateful to live somewhere that has dozens of gorgeous parks so we can socially distance and enjoy the great outdoors! We just became official members of Meadowlark Botanical Gardens and I’ve so loved strolling with Eloise throughout the beautiful space. Burke Lake Park is also a new favorite.  

15. My daughter learning to walk and talk. Perhaps the most thrilling happening of 2020 has been Eloise emerging out of infancy and into toddlerhood. She began to confidently walk and quickly run during the spring and now regularly speaks in sentences. “It’s a…” is a favorite sentence. (It’s a plane! It’s a broom! It’s a bow!)

16. The Peanut Butter Falcon. This is my favorite film we’ve watched this year on our weekly Family Movie Night. (Honorable mentions: Fighting with My Family & Roman Holiday) 

17. Run. Very fun limited series on HBO with Dohmnall Gleason who is one of my favorite actors! Like a mid-life crisis/comedy/heist/travel movie mostly set on a train. If I can’t travel IRL at least I can watch people take a cross country train ride.

18. Morning Brew. I only have a few email newsletters that I read religiously. This is one of them! It breaks down the day’s business news in an entertaining, lighthearted way. Here’s a referral link. I think I get a coffee mug or something if you sign up. 

19. Fairfax County Covid Case Data Dashboard. I know, I know, a bit of a downer, but information is agency. I check this every day to see how the case count is in my county and even my zip code. The news is not always helpful in figuring out what is really happening vs what gets clicks, so this data is welcomed information I get every day. 

20. TRX To Go. I’m still grieving my canceled gym membership but these straps help! I love the TRX system and this was so easy to install and throw over the door in my home office so I can incorporate strength training into my daily routine.  

21. Airpods. I know they look bougie but the freedom to not be physically wired to my mobile device in order to enjoy audio provides unexpected joy. Phone calls while cooking. Podcasts while strolling. Masterclass on audio mode while driving. I just can’t. This is my favorite technology purchase in years.  

There ya have it! I hope you’ll take me up on one of these recommendations, and let me know if you do! Now I’d love to know: what have you discovered over these past 21 weeks that you’ve enjoyed?!

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Are you ready to get more control of your career, finances, and life? Take the 31-day personal brand challenge. It is a free downloadable PDF that gives you 31 actionable steps to take to improve your personal brand one day at a time in a handy calendar format.

Personal Brand and Googling Yourself, Great Day Washington Interview

I did my first Zoom interview for TV recently and while of course it was fabulous to do so without even having to put on socks, it felt wildly awkward. It’s very distracting seeing your own reflection when you’re trying to give good answers for an interview! 

I’m looking at the camera.
I’m looking at the interviewer.
I’m looking at my reflection.
My hair is in my eye. Should I move it?
Is it more distracting for the audience if I move it or if for all intents and purposes I look like I’ve only got one eye?

It was a gloriously awkward time from my perspective. I was shocked, shocked, shocked all that weirdness doesn’t acutely translate to the final segment. 

Here’s my interview with Ellen Bryan, of WUSA, the CBS affiliate in the DC metro area discussing building a personal brand.

Are you ready to up your personal branding game? Get a smorgasbord of ideas with the free downloadable 31-Day Personal Brand Challenge PDF!

How to Build Your Personal Brand

Photo by Hannah Foster Photography

For me, building a personal brand was undoubtedly the cornerstone of building the career of my dreams. Before I intentionally worked on building a personal brand, people in my community didn’t exactly know what I did. (It’s perfectly fair. I did A LOT of random gigs.) So when I decided I was going to press the gas on a writing, content marketing, and personal development career, I knew I needed to share that information with the world. Because here’s the crazy thing: 

If you don’t tell people how you can help them, they won’t know you can help them.

🤯 

Because of the way I shared my work with the world, I’ve spent every day doing work I LOVE and I haven’t had to worry about making ends meet in a decade. That’s the truth. So today I want to share with you some lessons I’ve learned on personal brand as I’ve hacked away at it for ten years. 

The thing is, for better or worse, today’s workers now have a digital footprint that goes back at least a decade, if not more. We live in a world in which anyone can find out just about anything about anybody else. Case in point: a couple of years ago I was Googling a potential client and I found out he was a state champion video gamer as a pre-teen. There was photographic proof. Our accomplishments, our embarrassments, and our history have a way of following us around online for years. So let’s be intentional about what we want to put out into the world so we can attract the opportunities we really want. 

What is a Personal Brand?

Personal brand is a combination of what content exists out there in the world about you and what people think of when they think of you. Think of some of your favorite celebrities. Let’s go with John Krazinski and Rainn Wilson, for example. Both were actors on “The Office” but you might associate John with being a nice everyman who is relatable, and Rainn with being bold and quirky. That’s a personal brand. What are some of the first words that come to mind when people think of you? Remember, everyone has a personal brand. And if you want to have a say in what yours is, you CAN!

Why is having a personal brand so important?

For a lot of people, personal brand is important because it plays a role in your career. 85% of recruiters and HR professionals say an employee’s online reputation influences hiring decisions. So what do you want those Google search results to be if someone searches for your name? 

What are the benefits of building a personal brand? 

• It’s an opportunity to cultivate a career with intention.

• It’s an opportunity to take ownership of how others experience you in public (online and IRL).

• It gives you leverage to get into the rooms, on the stages, and into the positions that you want to be in--not just where you’ve been but where you want to go.

• It gives others the opportunity to let you be a help to them. Without personal brand, people don’t know what you do, what problems you can help solve, and what needs you can meet.

I created a list of 31 practical ways you can build your personal brand in 31 days. Get it here.

10 Tips to Build Your Personal Brand

So now that we know why a personal brand is important, let’s get clear on the key elements you need to focus on as you develop a personal brand. 

1. Get clear on your goals. What is the point of all this? What are your long-term career goals? Short-term? What do you want to accomplish? 

2. Articulate what you do. You’ve got to get clear on what work you want to be known for when establishing your personal brand. If it’s more than one thing, that’s ok! That sets you apart from other people who only do one thing. So, what do you want to be known for? 

3. Articulate who you serve. Whether it’s clients, customers, or the type of company you'd like to work for, get clear on this so the content that people find online about you really resonates with those people. For example, in my work I love working with people who live at the intersection of creativity and corporate, so I want to make sure the way I present myself online appeals to those creative-types, entrepreneurs, and marketing professionals.

4. Flesh out what you want to be known for. What do you want to be associated with? How do you want to be experienced? That's really the crux of the whole personal brand. I've had a lot of aspiring freelancers say to me, “Hilary, I want to freelance full time, but I'm really not a self-promoter.” And the truth is, by sharing what you do with the world and who you serve, you're not self-promoting, you’re raising your hand and telling your community, your network, “hey, I’ve got a solution to someone's problem.” If you need a freelance writer, or designer, or consultant, or a speaker for an event, or a fantastic childcare provider, I can be the solution to your problem! So instead of just posting pictures of your cat on Instagram, consider a creative way to showcase how you are a solution to someone’s problem. 

5. Determine how you will “show your work.” There are a plethora of ways to do this, like a blog, posting videos, starting a podcast, and putting a portfolio online. You have a fantastic opportunity to establish credibility by creating content. If you’re job hunting, produce content that contributes to your field. Maybe it’s a quick how-to video you share via your Instagram story, an article on your blog, or an infographic you create using Canva. Those pieces of content will differentiate you from the crowd. Look, you’re establishing your credibility as a professional already! 

6. Use your social media presence to show that you are multi-faceted. You may be wondering “So, are you saying I have to delete all my cat photos?” No! Your social profiles don’t need to be all business. Show the best facets of your personality, even if they are not work-related. People want to work with interesting people, so, yes, it’s OK to post that photo of you riding a camel, or a link to a GoFundMe cause you are passionate about. Conveying that you are well-rounded and have interests outside of work is a good thing, as long as those interests are positive and healthy. 

7. Get familiar with your privacy settings. Do you know offhand if your Instagram account is public or private? Who can see your posts on Facebook right now? Do you know what your social media profiles look like to people you don’t know? Do you know which photos and posts potential employers can find without making a request to connect with you? Is the information about your current employment, skills, education all up to date and accurate? Are there any photos that indicate anything other than professionalism and an emotionally healthy human being that others would want to work with every day? If you think a photo, tweet, or a status update could be viewed as questionable, go ahead and lock it down or delete altogether. 

8. Contribute to the conversation in your industry. Share thought-provoking articles. Take part in Twitter chats. Join Facebook groups. Connect with people in your field on LinkedIn. And of course, if you get involved with events in your industry in person, post content during and after the event. These are subtle ways to establish your presence in your field. This does not have to become overwhelming. Start with a commitment to spending five minutes a day sharing content and/or interacting with others in your field online. (If you want more actionable tips like these, download the 31-Day Personal Brand Challenge.) 

9. Provide value to your audience. It’s not enough to just constantly share all the great things you are doing. How are you serving your audience? Are you being generous with your expertise? What are your readers’ or followers’ goals? How can you help them reach them? 

10. Check your online content for narcissism, negativity, and typos. While your closest friends and family may find your selfies endearing (or not, TBH), people who don’t know you as well will likely experience them in a different, more negative way. Speaking of “negative”—even though we live in the age of online rage, unless you pair it with inspiration or a way to take action (think: the difference between a rant and an actionable request) it’s best to avoid these posts. And typos—be ye warned. People intrinsically judge the intellect of the authors of posts that are filled with grammatical crimes. Avoid this trifecta if you want to attract your dream employer.

We’re living in wild and crazy times that feel oh so out of our control. Lucky for us, personal brand is something you can be intentional about and influence to help you have a flourishing career and life. 

There is a way to convey authenticity online while also being intentional about showing your passion for your work, your expertise and skill, and that “je ne sais quoi” that makes people want to work with you.

Ready to get some practical, nitty gritty action items to kick your personal brand into high gear? Download the 31-Day Personal Brand Challenge! It’s a free downloadable PDF that gives you 31 actionable steps to take to improve your personal brand one day at a time in a handy calendar format.

If the pandemic occurred 10 years ago, here's what would've happened to me.

If the pandemic had occurred in 2010 instead of 2020 my entire world would have come crashing down.

Not only would my dream job have been gone (I spent part of that year performing at a dinner theatre) but my day jobs doing retail, promoting Broadway shows in Times Square, and my internship in a Broadway producer’s office would’ve all disappeared as well.

I would’ve been without opportunities, without options, and incredibly scared--especially when I saw that extra $600 per week of unemployment benefit expiring.

Even way back then, I had this gut feeling that I needed to find flexible work that I could do on a laptop, but I wasn’t sure where to start. I loved the idea of working from home or from anywhere, not depending on the fickle nature of the industries I was in to ensure I’d be able to make rent.

That kind of flexibility and autonomy resonated with me in my BONES, way before I had Eloise and saw firsthand how incredible it is to have a flexible work arrangement when you have a little one who is growing up before your eyes.

The opportunity I’m about to share with you now would’ve changed my life if it had been presented to me then.

My friend and colleague, April Herndon, is hosting a FREE Virtual Conference titled The Work From Home Cure: Learn how to legitimately work from home and make an incredible income without sales, network marketing, scams or data entry. 

April is CEO and founder of My VA School where she teaches folks all over the world how to successfully work from home through virtual assisting and freelance work. 

After hitting well over six figures doing virtual assisting from home, April is now passionate about showing others how she did it.

I've been asked to be a keynote speaker for this Virtual Conference which means that I have a complimentary ticket for you as part of my community!

I’ll be alongside several other amazing guest experts covering topics like how to find clients, work/life balance, self-care, working from home with kids and the actual logistics of freelance work.

I’m so thrilled to be sharing how building a personal brand helped me pivot to the career of my dreams and how you can employ these same tactics to explode your opportunities too. 

This is not like other conferences. My VA School has strategically put this virtual event together so that you can take the information you’ll learn and apply it RIGHT NOW to get started on your work-from-home journey.

Imagine working from home or working from anywhere, and never having to worry if you're going to get laid off or furloughed again. You have EVERYTHING within you RIGHT NOW to create the life you want. Let us lead the way for you.

We'll teach you how to have full control over your schedule, your income and your life.

Join me HERE and I can’t wait to see you there.

My Experience Learning About Systemic Racism

The first time systemic racism really, REALLY hit home for me was when my friend Tiffany got on Facebook live after Philando Castile was murdered four years ago and wept and talked about how she felt.

For the first time it wasn’t some abstract movement or cause, it was my friend hurting, and being willing to be vulnerable in front of her network via webcam on social media--a friend who I had laughed with, performed in a show with, and had great deep talks with, someone who I really admired and respected.

That was the day that the effects of racism were no longer in history books and musicals, they were in the faces of people I knew and loved. I saw the pain. I saw the fear. I saw how this was not abstract or “far away” to her, at all.

Later, Tiffany and I sat down at a coffeeshop and I told her how her posts on social media moved me, how they made me see things differently, how they spurred me to ask questions and listen.

She told me about her experience walking through the world, how she has spent a lifetime overcompensating to make white strangers feel comfortable. She smiles big. She’s chatty. She makes eye contact. If she’s walking behind someone she makes sure they know she’s there.

Just then a white girl at the next table over said to me, “Hey, I need to run to the bathroom, could you watch my stuff?”

Tiffany looked at me and said, “that never happens to me.”

“Strangers don’t ask you to watch their stuff?”

“No.”

Racism is overt and covert. It’s the assumptions you don’t even notice you’re making. I’m NO expert, but I know this: having conversations with black people, listening to their experiences, and not coming prepped with “another perspective” is a step in the right direction.

So white people, listen to the voices of minorities. Listen to what actual human beings have to say. And if you don't know someone who you can have these conversations with, lol, make a new friend that looks different than you.

And POC, thank you for sharing and please continue to do so. You never know who you are going to wake up with one post, one live video, or one conversation.

HuffPost: Once The Pandemic Is Over, Can We Keep The World This Accessible?

I’m pleased to share that my first personal essay for HuffPost was published on April 30. Here is a portion of it and a link to the entire article.

photo by hannah foster photography

Over the past decade, I’ve created a career for myself built on autonomy, flexibility and the power to drop my laptop into my backpack and work from anywhere. (Poolside always felt like a win.) I fancied myself a digital nomad. But everything got slower and simpler and much closer to home once I became a mother 18 months ago. The benefits of working from anywhere gave way to the benefits of working from home — a surprising next-chapter byproduct that I felt equal parts grateful for and challenged by. 

So when it became clear that the best way to slow the spread of COVID-19 was to stay in our homes, only venturing outside to get takeout or groceries, it sounded intense but possible. 

It reminded me of those first few months of having a baby, when my world went from expansive and far-reaching to the diameter of my 1,800-square-foot home. Hibernating with my newborn was a jarring change for me, an extrovert who enjoyed the perks of living close to the nation’s capital. After all, I moved to the D.C. metro area to enjoy meeting clients at coffee shops in Chinatown, regularly checking in on the art at the National Portrait Gallery, and gathering with throngs at the Kennedy Center to see live performances. 

But the reality of having a baby and suddenly being responsible for the life of another human meant that my 40-minute drive to Georgetown might as well have been four hours. Between feedings and nap schedules, I couldn’t leave the house for more than 90 minutes at a time even with baby in tow. And if I did plan ahead and hire help to watch the baby while I attended an event downtown, I was paying $60-$75 just for the travel time to get to the event — not to mention the cost of the time I’d actually be there enjoying it. 

As a first-time mom with many new line items on the budget, there was hardly space for both diapers and babysitting.

So I missed out a lot. I asked for phone calls with clients instead of working lunches. I listened to podcasts instead of attending breakfast lectures. I skipped the annual writing conference. Concerts and plays came and went without me. 

By my daughter’s first birthday, I had begun to head back out into the world more. I traveled several times to speak at conferences. I joined a co-working space, a local gym and a church. I left my home at least every few days. My pace was still incomparably slower compared to pre-baby life, but I was getting out with greater regularity. 

Still, this was only possible with meticulous planning. My husband and I tag-teamed schedules. I asked my parents to come for a long weekend months in advance and scheduled babysitters sometimes six or more weeks ahead of time. Every face-to-face interaction I got to enjoy happened because of layers of foresight, planning and budgeting.

Then social distancing became our new normal. As nonessential businesses shuttered, everyone began working from home (that is, the lucky ones who remained employed in jobs that could be done from home). All of a sudden, nobody was having working lunches. All my colleagues were staring at laptop screens and waving at webcams. The ground had been leveled. 

I began receiving invitations to live-streamed lectures. John Legend gave a concert on Instagram. Birthday cocktails happened over Zoom. Conferences moved online. The kind of events I had previously had to move mountains for were now popping up online. I had a veritable smorgasbord of lectures, workshops and other events to attend from my own home. How was I busier during quarantine than I was pre-quarantine?

6 Steps to Rewrite Your Internal Script Under Stress and Uncertainty

The following article is a guest post written by psychologist Dr. Joy Lere.

When we face circumstances that smash plans and expectations, we can quickly become emotionally depleted.  We crave prediction, calculation, and regularity. We favor an inaccurate forecast to no weather report at all.   The COVID-19 pandemic has rapidly turned lives, routines, schedules, plans, relationships, and careers inside out.  

The virus is eliciting a psychological and physical stress response that trips positive for most, regardless of whether they are infected, ill, or running a fever.  The term “stress” typically does not instinctually free associate to something positive for most, yet it is in the crucible of some kinds of stress and strain that strength and growth can be forged.   

Your life has been disrupted.  Perhaps you are facing possible job loss and are experiencing a spike in financial anxiety.  Maybe you are trying to adapt to a new role as a homeschool teacher but are feeling in over your head.  You and your spouse are potentially struggling to sync schedules and share space as you attempt to work from home.  The story you tell yourself about your current circumstances will impact your mood, and in turn, drive your behavior.  Rewriting your internal script can serve to reduce stress and create psychological breathing room when you are feeling mentally claustrophobic.  Here are six steps to rewrite your script when the show you are starring in has suddenly changed.

6 Steps to Rewrite Your Internal Script Under Stress and Uncertainty

1.  Reframe.  While there are many things that may exist far outside your scope of control, one of the most powerful is fully within your grasp: your internal monologue.  In certain scenes in the act you are living, it may serve you to edit your lines. Be careful not to play on repeat extremes of “always” or “never” in your head. Be on guard against labeling people or circumstances negative with no redeeming quality. Consider the potential power of creative improvisation. We are all, to varied degrees, making the rules up as we go as we wade into uncharted waters. Experiment with something new, see if it works. If not, you received feedback; don’t confuse this with failure. Adjust as needed. Cast limitations as safeguards. Let restrictions be seen as new opportunities to restructure. You can’t go to the gym right now, but you now hold a free membership and all-access pass to a studio where you can develop resilience and adaptability. These characteristics will set you apart long after this chapter is over.

2.  Inventory. Take stock of the resources currently available to you.  While inventories often involve lists, they actually start with powerful questions.  Consider:

• What do you have?  

  • How can you use it?  

  • How can you give it?  

  • What do you need?  

• What do you need?  

  • Where can you find it?  

• Who holds it?

3.  Focus on your haves.  Develop a regular gratitude practice by journaling or saying aloud three things you are grateful for at the start of your day and close of your night. These are powerful psychological anchors when it seems as though the walls are closing in around you. When you consider your list of “have nots” respond with a plan to secure them, not self-pity.  

4.  Structure.  As humans we crave rhythm, routine, predictability, and roadmaps. This is part of why this portion of lived history is proving to unravel and undo so many people in so many ways. We must accept that we cannot forecast, but we can —and must— continue to exist within the current fences of our lives. This is not vacation. This is not spring break. Develop a rhythm. Write out a schedule in advance. You’ve actually been given a new opportunity to figure out what the optimal one for you and your body is (hint: it’s maybe not 9-5).  Practice flexible regularity. Rhythm with give and grace.  

5.  Act.  Exercising agency will prevent psychological atrophy and emotional demise. In a world where much is out of your control, many things are not. Identify them, focus on them, do them.  Find practical ways to prevent, protect, learn, and serve.

6.  Speak.  You are more likely to spin in your head if you exist in a psychological silo. Sort through your feelings, fears, and options aloud with trusted friends, family, and/or a therapist. Ensure that the people you are entrusting your inner world to are not a triggering stimulus for becoming increasingly emotionally flooded. If you are flailing in the deep end, make sure you are reaching out to someone who is clearly and securely on the side of the pool – not drowning next to you.

Broken expectations can leave sharp shards that, unless handled carefully, can result in blood loss and pain.  Be diligent in how you are holding yours. Give the physical protective gear to the hospitals right now, but attend to your psyche with proper precautions.  Use kit gloves when necessary. Now is the time to be compassionate and flexible, but it is not the time to lower the bar. More than ever, it is time to rise to the occasion.  Pause (but don’t stop). Breathe. Invest. Create. Look. Discover. Contribute. Connect. Hope. Survive. Thrive.  

Dr. Joy Lere is a psychologist, consultant, speaker, and writer who practices at the intersection of behavior and business, specializing in work on the merger of money and mindset. Dr. Lere has previously served as an Associate Clinical Professor of Clinical Psychology at George Washington University and has held clinical and research positions at Children's National Medical Center, Penn Medicine Princeton Health, and the Department of Defense. Connect with Dr. Lere here.